I have a problem and it might actually matter right now?

I must confess, I didn't read this entire thing. But from what I did read, I have to say, you seem to generalize a fair bit. Not all men are the same, with the same values. If your heart is not in this pending marriage, by all means, don't go through with it. And last but not least, you could be a ? I don't mean to offend. Good luck with that.